THINK NEGATIVE!!

hey im finally updating from germany.....dont believe me????


check out these symbols:
ö,ä,Ö,Ä,µ,²,³,ß,€,ü, and Ü

that all comes on a standard German keyboard......ill do the rest later...

damnit!

ps.....i think there's someone new......it makes me blush :)

well here it goes....i think i have a pace going...im starting to do this...almost monthly..but i wont bore you with what you already know....ill bore you with what you dont know.....so it comes down to this...school is over and im stuck at home typing this stupid journal...i should be doing sumthing with my dad....or maybe sumthing productive....but instead im frying my brain in front of this idot box (with a tower) listening to the same songs play over and over and over in my play list....in my head...there's only so many ways i can rock out....by myself....i need to sit down and just reflect on things that are going on in my life....everything is just jumbled up in my head....as for mandy...she's no more...i felt it really unfair that im always busy and i never have time for her.i hope she understands that...im just trying to save her the tears in the future...as for everything else...im starting to find senior-itous is still with you out of school....i have so many things and dead lines to complete and i pretty much havent lifted a finger to do anything about it. and im trying to figure out why...ive noticed that i havent had enough sleep lately to the point where i get headaches for it....thats never happened to me before...also all the emotions getting thrown around of betrayal, rivalry, saddness, happiness, annoyance. getting thrown around so much that i want to vomit....it would be nice to drop everything and start anew. so many times ive wished i could start all over again...correct the wrongs....keep the rights....try this out...try that out...sure i have the rest of my life...but its not the same when you're a kid. and friends....oh man....friends....who knows....i'm really glad school is over so i dont have to deal with friends any more....only the ones i want to keep in touch with....all the others can ignore me if they want....and i dont have to worry about anyone else....keeping in touch with friends would be great....if they didnt drag along drama....i know who my TRUE friends are....for now....that will change sure enough...maybe it wont...i cant tell the future....life is just crazy....at times i just want to run through my streets screaming till i pass out....but at times i just want to just sit...........it seems like the days go by faster and faster every day...i can plan out my day perfectly and still run out of time for some reason...i can count the seconds and be completely content....it would pass the time faster i think....i guess you can say that this is just one huge WTF entry....hey remember those??...how it would reflect what i thought/felt...well....i dont know what this is supposed to mean....to me or to you...i suppose you can read this and give me feed back...but its probably nothing that i already know...because i mean...,i have been sitting at home just thinking things over and over and over. what else is there to think about?lots i suppose...if i read a book.maybe im typing this because im really tired and not looking foreward to work....maybe its because i need i good beer right now...or good night out where i can just waste away all my sorrows and thought to cans and bottles....and wake up the next morning not worrying about what i have to do for the day...my life is never in slow motion....its one after the other all the freaking time...the only reason i have time to do this is because i make time for my self...but it takes time away from other things that i would like to do....such as reading...do house work (which i need to do), hang out with friends...even play with my dog...hang out with the family. .....hell if i compressed this stuff in to one page...i can write an emo song! H AHa HA HA HA...but then again i cant play guitar...id like to though...again with the things i wish i could do but dont have time for...i need something else...to get me through the days, not really a GF...and not really a friend....not even GOD, i dont think...but how would i know....i've never tried it...well i suppose my time on the saop box is through...not that it mattered to you....or to me....i hope you've had fun losing you're spot and going cross-eyed reading this....if it was me and i looked at this entry i'd just skim it reading only the important stuff...but in reality....i can really be missing out on the important stuff....That made no sence....call me up or sumthing if you really want to know what im feeling...if i even feel the same way....i really hate typing in my feeling in either AIM or this journal....it never comes out the way i want it too.....

"this is a 44 caliber love letter straight from my heart" 44 caliber love letter-alexisonfire

P.s. this is update is for you "the-a"

GODAMNIT!

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: Incubus- Vitamin

so lets start from last week.... last sunday i took mandy and her sister to downtown disney....that was pretty cool...then the week went on and this past friday...i took her bowling with jenisse and danny and louis and....alex...? ya and alex...on sat i was busy all effing day...then sunday i went to visit my grandma in the hospital....i felt bad for my grandma...but her time has come really....i cant really do anything about it...im not a doctor....so i just have to watch....monday...went to debut picture taking...then i had to practice for stupid rubio's concert.....then there was a bbq at alex's so i stayed...then went to go watch "day after tomorrow" not all that fantastic.....but i already knew it was gonna suck....and.....sumthing else.....(if you havent noticed yet...im tired and dont really feel like doing this....)

damni...t

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: im all eyes: halofriendlies

the title is not only about my updating-ness......but about me finding some one special:

im not going to explain to you the whole month....so im just gonna tell about today....in short.
today: i went to the movies with jenisse, fernando, marc, gurl, myself....and presenting.......(da da da dAAAAAAA) mandy.....i sweet, cute, smart, quiet girl that i met last week at a party....we went to the movies to watch shrek two....that is some funny crap! i completely recommend it. but ya...this girl is something else...she is the sweetest girl around that i know of...but she is only a sophmore....but i can care less....i dont discriminate...thats what the law is for...im really looking forward to seeing this girl more in the near future. so we'll see how everthing turns out.

wtf corner: WHERE The Fuck is WTF?....im too tired to do this thing now a days guys...the next entry will be pretty much only WTF corner. and it will be about life and school and friends and....something else

"and you can tell
from the state of my room
that they let me out too soon
and the pills that i ate
came a couple weeks too late" girl anachronism: dresdon dolls

damnit

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Incubus- Hilikus

freaking finally!some time to up date....its been a while...so ill give you the major things...
marc,gurl,elvis,isis,luis,prince, and i all headed over to the beach....there's never a dull moment with those guys...we went boogie boarding and crab hunting....then we built a huge hole with a moat. that was cool but my dad was being gay so i had to leave early.

for all i can remember the next few days was me danny and alex just doing stuff for prom.there was some good times...there was some sad...there was...

then it was prom...it was pretty sweet...i enjoyed it a lot....im not sure if i can say the same for others....but i had fun...i hated dancing....but it kept me busy...and i didnt really know what i was doing compared to "the-A" so...she basically broke me in two...and jackie y.....broke me ten times over...i was ashamed...but get this, for ever dance move they have...i have a move in the pit...thats where i belong....i thnk its more fun there

thats all i can remember for now...sorry i took so long for the update...ill do it more often,....and fill in the rest of the stuff too...

...damnit...

Current Mood: relieved
Current Music: Thursday- Understanding In A Car Crash

alright so lets start with monday

MONDAY: woke up late....which was kinda a relief....i did some stuff around the house and i got ready to go tux shopping with luis,danny,alex, and "the-a". well i got a ruff idea of what i was gonna get but i didnt have any money at the moment and time. so we looked some more...we messed around the whole time and i think we got some people to look at us in an odd way. we all wore our wrestlecore shoes...and "the-a" couldnt have had a more fun time...while all of us were just acting normally....but she had to leave early for whatever reason....so the guys and i swung by nogales burger since it was two for one cheese burger monday! then the guys wanted taco factory...so we went and had fun there to...then on my way back from dropping off the guys i had to go to work...even though i wasnt schedualed to....it was an emergency day...i did so horribly that day...im surprised i didnt get fired...

TUESDAY: well today was the day for the beach...this day couldnt have a been a more perfect day to go to the beach.other than the fact that the wind was about 0 fucking degrees! other than that...it was a pretty nice day...laura's court was at the beach...along with other diamond bar friends....i went into the water twice during the whole day...maybe because i didnt have a boogie board of my own...so we ended up playing volley ball and some football....it was fun all day....the bon fire was pretty cool...before we got to the beach...we picked up some scrap wood from some construction site...we thought it wouldnt burn...but it got the job done....big time...since it was so cold at night...it was kinda hard to think....so we started to play some truth or dare....that was pretty fun....then as we were leaving the beach....jon saw a guy that he knew from work....and for whatever reason...these guys wanted to wrestle some one....so one of my friends from diamond bar wrestled this big guy with a bald head....my friend lost....and this other guy stood up in an excite and wanted to wrestle some skinny guy....and automatically everyone just stared at me....and coincidentally had my wrestling shoes on that day. so we went at it...this guy had about 5 inches on me....so it was a struggle....i was getting tired towards the end because all this sand was everywhere and getting in my eyes and face...and there was no break....but for anyone that knows wrestling....i got that son of a bitch in a cradle of a life time...he could get out...so he tapped out...i was the champion for the night.so thus far we ended the night on a high note...then on the way home jon's car began to act up....it was sumthing up with the battery....im not positive what it was but it had us stuck on the 57 right out side of diamond bar for about 2 hours...we were out there till about 1:00...so that sucked up our night.

WEDNESDAY: after that whole fiasco...i had to do some stuff at home and then it was off to the mall to go get my tux.... it was just with danny and alex this time and we got it pretty quick...then it was off to work afterwards....i got to train some new employee...that was pretty cool....
and that was my week as of now...
tomorrow im off to the beach.again


{ the stuff that goes here.... }
{ .....ill put in later }

damnit...

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Coheed and Cambria :Elf Power

i heard this song...and it kinda reflects what i think now-a-days
ill give you a part of it

"And I don't know if I've ever been really loved,
By a hand that's touched me,
And I feel like something's gonna give,
And I'm a little bit angry.
Well, this ain't over, no, not here,
Not while I still need you around.
You don't owe me, we might change,
Yeah, we just might feel good." Matchbox 20-Push


thats it...damnit....

Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: Thursday: How Long is the Night

monday through wednesday something really funny during lunch...but i cant remember for the life of me what day it was exactly. so the people that saw it....please fill me in...but ill tell you guys that werent there what happened....so i was sitting during lunch....thinking of what i should buy with the only dollar i had. then christal suggests that i go by some fries....i havent had fries in a really long time...so i said..."alright that sounds pretty good right now" well soon enough when i got back to the table and everyone was going for my food....which they always do...but at the same time...the girls were playing this "nervous" game...they were groping each other until it got akward.....soon enough my food came into play...they put the food somewhere akward....and someone would have to eat it...and soon enough it got to my lap....they put three fries in my lap....around in the crotch area...but if you see it from a spectators view point...it would look like something completley different.HA HA HA...when the girls "went down on me" i freaked out...because i thought they were gonna bite something else....it was pretty funny.

then with the rest of the week.....i worked on thursday.

friday was funny for one part....danny had someone fill in for him during work...while i worked with "ultra bitch" so he can go to a finch show...i was pretty mad because i wasnt expecting to go....but i did know about it...and once danny found a replacement he was pretty happy while i was kinda bummed out.....later that day (not that much later) danny calls me and says...."FINCH WAS CANCELLED!!!" and i just started laughing...because he's missing money paying hours!!!...then i asked him why it was cancelled....and he just told me "well it wasnt cancelled, it was just cancelled for us....it was sold out" then i laughed even louder!...holy crap..how are you gonna go to a show and not check if its sold out or not...man....
saturday: i do nothing but yard work all day...then at the end of the night...i call up my cousin to see what he was up to because i havent seen him in a few months because we always have conflicting scheduals. my other cousin's birthday was that night...but i see her a lot...and i wasnt really in the mood to go to a party that night. so when i get there...my cousin is cool as always...and his wife is always cool as...and pretty much we played games....played games...drank coffee...drank coffe...played sorry.... transition into sunday...played games...drank more coffee....ate grilled cheese and fries....until about six in the morning...thats when we decided to call it a night...or morning...or whatever.....but it was fun....the rest of sunday was pretty kick back...i went to baskin robins with "the-a" and we tried to find some food....but it was hard seeing how it was easter and all.so nothing was open...then i picked up my sister's boyfriend and went back to my house...."the-a" and i decided to watch cast away...because both of us didnt watch it in full. and we did that until about 8 o' clock-ish then i took her home....as for home....i was talking to "the-a" and words were exchanged....and she got mad....then jessica called me that night and needed to talk....so i did....and that went until about 12-ish....
and that was my week. i suppose...

"You'll be accepting my apology
For taking things to seriously.
Sometimes I'm old enough to keep routine
Sometimes I'm child enough to scream." The Get Up Kids: My Apology

P.S. jessica you are the best...i love you


....damnit....

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Letter Kills : Don't Believe

well today was kinda different....i went to school and was sitting in civics class and just and anna came up to me.... and asked if i bought tickets to prom yet...i said no...and she offered to sell me a raffle ticket...a raffle ticket that can win me tickets to prom!....with out hesitation i bought one...it was a buck....but i think its so worth it...with my luck now a days im most likley to win the tickets and lose it some how. then i went to danny's house and had a "007" gaming adventure and some MORTAL KOMBAT 4! then i went home and got ready to go run...i ran to
"the-A"'s house...and stayed for about 20 mins. then i started running somemore...down grand towards sac. then up amar...then finally down lemon...i was really proud of myself....it took me just one hour.... i got a lot of stress out...but i also regained a lot back...then when i got home and took a bath...that was the best part of the whole night!....(ya i used bubbles....what of it??!!)but again in the tub i was thinking a lot more.and became more aware of things...and questioned them a lot more....and a lot harder...im gonna have to make some desicions and im gonna have to make them quick.....DAMNIT....i hate being like this...


WTF: my love life....fuck it...wtf

"but things can't be perfect
all the time
that I know
sometimes we just have to let some things go" armor for sleep: perfect things

"Oh, oh , I never felt this way
How do you give me so much pleasure
And cause me so much pain
Just when I think
I've taken more than would a fool
I start fallin’ back in love with you" alicia keys: fallin'



....GODAMNIT!!!....

Current Mood: confused
Current Music: incubus: out from under

i should really start doing this thig more consitantly because im getting tired of having to type so much and in such little deatail.

Monday and Tuesday werent really important.

Wednesday- school....blah!...then it was off to my first day of work...As rubios cashier! at first i was nervous... but once danny came a long he made me feel a bit more comfortable. And he showed the things that were right and the things that were wrong.i got home content that night.

Thursday- school.....waita sec....there was no school for me!...instead i went to a retreat for my church...im not positive where it was....but it was some where secluded....it was a nice place.but we did sing alongs....listened to some lectures and reflected a lot....i wasnt all that intrested in the topic of discusion...but i was still respectful...not like some other jerks...sure i can understand if God and Jesus and Catholicism is boring....but still...have some respect for those around you that want to get something out of it...religion is a big thing for them...so show some kind of respect. on the way to the place...."the-A" and i were texting each other...and on the way back...we talked on the phone...we decided to go running later that night....when i was leaving the retreat place....it started to rain...i was thinking to myself "fuck....this is gay" i just had to take my niece to softball. then it started to pour! so "the-A" and i couldnt run...so we just hung out in my room for a while and got boba afterwards..

Friday: School....a bore....then i went to work for the second day.....i had to work for "she-devil-nun" this day...i wasnt as nervous as the first day....but i did have to work like a freaking dog...the "she-devil-nun" had me do extra stuff (side note:the reason she's called "she-devil-nun" is cuz she's overly nice with the customers....but when it comes to her workers...it seems like she wants to kick your ass every and any chance she gets!)....but it was getting late and i still had a lot of stuff to do...so she let me go "early"...then i picked up "the-A" from some little get together with the cast of "guys and dolls" and we just hung out in the park for a while sorting out some problems...then i went home...

Saturday- woke up and fixed up some stuff around the house...then i went to marcs house to start on a project.it was pretty fun for the most part. i got there a bit early...so gurl, marc, and i started to play this game where we sit on top of a spinning chair and we're spun for 30 secs.....then we stood up to see if we could stand up straight and walk in a straight line...it was called "topsy-derby"...it was fun...then it was off to the play...i picked up some robeks for "the-A" and i met up raymond and luis at the school. i sat with them....and of course there were some jerks behind us...over all the play was pretty fun,...then it was off to tommy burgers with "the-A" and luis. we ate there....then i dropped off the kids and was on my way home....then i saw my jon's car out side of my nieghbor's house....a nieghbor i never thought he'd talk to....but he was there and we talked over some stuff that was bothering us....

Sunday- i woke up late because "the-A" forgot to set her clock an hour ahead.so i woke up late for explorers and i just decided not to go. then it was off to debut practice....not val's...but now laura's!...but i was there from 10:30 to about 1:00...then i had to go to church to practice for my confirmation.....that didnt take to long...then i went back home thinking that i was gonna run with "the-A" but she's been really busy....so i ended up sleeping for a bit...and i got up to watch some tv and see elvis' NEW CAR!! (side note: its not new at all but really old and wet.) we went to visit jessica in the elvis' mobile..then i came home to talk to "the-A"...we cleared up a lot of static.thats why it took me so long to finish this entry (ive been spending a crap load of time with "the-a" latley)

is it just me or has this week extented into three?? it was so long....i can almost recall every minute.

WTF Corner: ill have one coming soon...just let me get my head on straight.

ill give you a few quotes cuz i've had a few on my mind.

"But your taste still lingers on my lips
like I just placed them upon yours
and I starve
I starve for you.
But this new diet's liquid
and dulling to the senses.
And it's crude
but it will do." Dashboard confessional: Standard lines

"she keeps on asking “do you think it hurts much to die?“
its hurting so much more to stay alive now,
shes gonna find out how much it hurts to die" From Autumn to Ashes: Chloroform Perfume

"I said, "You can't bone my mouth when my mouth is bone dry"" Gravy Train: KOTTONMOUTH BJ



AND THATS THE WEEK....DAMNIT!!!!!

Current Mood: satisfied
Current Music: Avenged Sevenfold: Clairvoyant Disease

THURSDAY: i got a message from danny saying that the manager was looking for me on wednesday...so i went in later that day...and she had me fill out paper work and i got free t-shirts for work.


FRIDAY: well this day was bore at school as always...but i went to robeks after school and i got a call from the girl at the pizza place asking if i wanted the job...i was thinking to myself CRAP!!!!! i wanted that JOB!!!....but i got the job at rubio's.then after it was off to school to watch my sister tryout for cheer. she did a fantastic job...better than at home...better than at home. and she got cut...fucking judges! what do they know....

SATURDAY: VALS DEBUT!!!this was a blast i was dancing my ass off.....i didnt do that bad.

SUNDAY: went to jessica's house to watch a movie..

MONDAY: went to school.....a bore....went to alex's house to go swimming with danny...then i went to go running 1000 miles with thea and louis.then we were stargazing...which is always fun....

(side note: im tired so if you want the week in detail...."hit me up" as they say)

wtf corner: ill do it tomorrow

.....damnit....

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: armor for sleep: all warm

soo....i thought id get this out of the way so i can have room for my packed weekend

lets start with...

MONDAY: well nothing really happened at school....so i went to rubio's for my interview...but the manager was busy and wasnt able to talk to me....what crap is that?!!...so she told to come back tomorrow....but when i got home from rubio's.....oh man...was there a surprise for me!....a brand new freaking cell phone!!!FUCK YA!! all these longing years of missed messages, lost whereabouts and missed fun....i finally got a grasp on....THE FUTURE!!!...i got a kyocera kx414 with verizon if anyone's asking.as for my number...well....you can ask me in person...theres a lot of freaks and fans that would want to get a hold of me...and that wouldnt want to talk to.

TUESDAY: well this day i was boring as usual...but i did show the "bling bling" (the phone) everyone was excited for me....but after school... i went back to rubio's and the stupid manager wasnt there...WTF!!...you tell me to come back and your not even there??!!! thats dumb...so i leave a message with another manager and leave....

WEDNESDAY:well again at school nothing goes on...so i go back to to rubio's....wait no i dont...i say fuck off rubio's! and go apply across the street at the pizza place...out of pure anger...and went to my niece's softball game.



im sorry my children... i am being called into the night...ill finish this up some other time....probably sunday.

"But I robot will never die." coheed and cambria:2113

Current Mood: blank

sorry guys i forgot my "WTF CORNER" in my last entry.....so here it is....

WTF CORNER: WTF is up with people being so rude??...i find this very effing rude....when you're talking to someone and someone else barges in and completely distroys the conversation....HOLY CRAP!!...where did you guys get your manners from? if some one is busy...dont bother them....unless its an emergency of course...what the two people are talking about might be important....and its not only the interupters that piss me off...its also the people that i talk to...cuz they dont have the common curticy to just tell the other person just to hold on for a second....they just completely switch conversations....man...if someone is talking to you...dont be rude and run off with someone else...unless of course its an emergency...but man...it really surprises me what kind of manners people have today....if someone is talking to you...it must be for some reason, right? so i dont understand why you would just leave in the middle of a conversation...thats just stupid...and i dont understand why someone would just "waltz" into someone's conversation when they are talking to someone else....i bet that would really tick you off when you if you tried to get your point across to someone and you're interupted but some ass hole that wanted to say hi...or get a hug..A FUCKING HUG!!!! come on...i know you can wait for that later....fucking jerk offs...be curtious for crying out loud....! AHHHHH!!!!so...wtf?

" Anger is a gift." Rage Against the Machine: FREEDOM

...damnit...

Current Mood: awake
Current Music: Coheed and Cambria: in keeping secrets of earth: 3

well here it goes....

MONDAY: i dont remember...too boring..

TUESDAY: this was the time that we had late start because of the sophmore testing..this was pretty cool because elvis marc and i didnt have a first....so we didnt get into school until 12 effing 30!!!!that was pretty cool so we started off the day with some doughnuts at good old fasion donut tree...then it was off to john gray's house for some gaming....(side note: counter strike on X-BOX is fucking awesome) then once john, luis, and paul (luis' friend) had to go to school we went to elvis' house to chillax and crap...the to del taco for lunch with raymond mendoza....the rest of the day was a bore.

WEDNSDAY: well now it was time to hang out with danny, alex, and jenisse. we went to mcdonalds and pinched some people that werent wearing green. then we went to the mob at robeks...and showed off my "ride" to some asians. and i happened to have my application for rubio's on hand....so i went to go turn that in. it figures that some of the people at register are going to quit. so rather than being cook, ill be at register....i pretty much got interviewed on the spot....they wanted me to come back at 3:00 on monday. seems like i have a new job ladies and gents!
SEEMS LIKE...i dont wanna get my hopes up.later that afternoon...my neice had a softball game. i saw some really cute girl there...too bad i looked like crap....that was about it for that day.

THURSDAY: well i went back to school at normal time...nothing really happened at school. i bought a talent show ticket. i took my niece to mc donalds because her school was cooking there for fund-raising or sumthing of that sort...so all her friends were there...and i saw "cookie" there! (side note: COOKIE! if you read this....you look very cute in uniform...HA HA HA!) i enjoyed the talent show very much.....i didnt know nathan bates could sing....or even attempted to....but he still has more balls than i do to even attempt to sing.the thrice cover band was pretty cool too.i had fun with them as well. the drama group was pretty funny...so funny that they won grand prize of $150...nice job guys. miss jennifer lawson won first with her little alicia keys montage(side note: jennifer lawson looked jaw-dropping fantastic!!) ironic how she sang alicia keys because for some odd reason i had the song "i think im jealeous of your girlfriend" stuck in my head. and of course the lovley filipino girls that preformed...they did a great job i think.i dont know what the judges thought....after the show...i just went home.

FRIDAY: another bore at school.but afterwards i took my niece to practice and then got ready to go to the big mardi gras dance...when i thought i was running late...it figures that i was one of the first people there along with jon martinez and company. the party didnt start kicking until about 8:00-ish. it was supposed to start at 7:00. it wasnt as fantastic as i thought it would be...you had to pay for just about everything...that was dumb...when i already paid $12 for the ticket...and i didnt have a date due to complications....but i did win a prize in musical chairs...the odds were extremley against me...i was the only non-filipino rocker playing the game...but i won any ways and got myself a portrait of FUCKING BEYONCE!!!! HELL YA MAN!!! BOOTY-LICIOUS!.. so i was just hanging with luis for just about the whole night...then i get a call from elvis saying that he's still at the theaters watching his movie.....and that jessica wanted us to go to a party at her ex's house. so we leave the party (luis and i) and go to pick elvis,valeria, raymond (mendoza), and john (gray) at the mall. i dropped off john and raymond....and the rest of us were supposed to go party.figures that there is nothing at jessica's ex's house. and valeria still wants to party ....so we go to her house and she gets us drinks and she decides to call it a night.we head back to elvis' house to booze it up.after one beer in elvis...he is buzzed off his ass...and luis got a hold of the champane. he was kinda messed up too. it was his first time.. and i went home ok.....

SATURDAY: i wake up to a minor headache. and i realize i have to get up to go to santa ana...this is where the california art institute is located.im gonna take culinary management...so my mom and i get there and we get to interact with one of the instructors by.....folding napkins.....it was kinda cool cuz we made cool shapes and such. and i turned in an application and i am now looking into a phone interview with someone on tuesday regarding the school. things are looking up for me and this school.and i think im gonna shack up over there. that would be awesome. then i came home and helped my mom with some taxes...then i get a call from jenisse saying..."hey you wanna catch a movie" i say sure and she said that she'd pay for me. well thats cool in my books. we decide to watch "dawn of the dead"...im just gonna tell you straight out...that movie sucked my balls. dont even get me started on that. if you wanna hear my review...ask me later. well....on the way back home danny went off witha friend and jenisse went with me...we were supposed to go to a party...on the way to the party we find a dog on the street that wasnt dead yet but you can tell it was in pain because it was flailing its legs around in pain...i almost ran over it!...i had to swerve really hard out of the way. it reminded me of the movie we just watched.....because it was moving around really oddly and in pain...it sucked a lot....i was gonna stop but i wouldnt know where to take it...and there was much to many cars....it sucked a lot. i end up not going to the party cuz i have explorers tomotorrow.

and that was my whole fucking week.

"I don't want to talk to you anymore
I'm afraid of what I might say
I bite my tongue everytime you come around
Cause blood in my mouth beats blood on the ground" INCUBUS: blood on the ground.

the only good part of the movie was one quote that im gonna try to type out...if i get it wrong please correct me.
"what does that tell you of what GOD thinks about you? WHEN THERE IS NO MORE ROOM IN HELL,THE DEAD WILL WALK THE EARTH" D.O.D.

...DAMNIT...

P.S: this stupid entry took me an HOUR!!!!

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: incubus: pink tractorbeam

journal entry coming soon

WTF: why are people so rude!!!!....to be continued.

"..Now my only consolation is that this could not
last forever....." INCUBUS: just a phase

Current Mood: horny

well lets start on....
FRIDAY: this day was pretty fun...after i "made music" i went to val's house and we had a water war of the century....i filled up two buckets of water balloons (160 ballons)val was the first to shoot....so after she got out of her mom's car...i completley killed her with balloons...and i stayed the most dry...along with darren...that day was cool...then after jenisse and i went to visit danny at rubio's and we ate....i think im gonna work as a cook there....i suppose.

SATURDAY: i woke up to start on a song....and i finished it....then i did some chores..then ate in n out and went off to val's to get ready...we didnt even go matching...other than our hats...then we didnt even take pictures....well i didnt mind...because i didnt have money to begin with because elvis' bank account stole my money....well we were off to sadies and everything was fine and dandy up until she got sick at the dance....i dont know what it was...but i was left dateless...but i had fun none the less...then after i took rachel to val's house...the rest of the kids went to denny's...we got a new collection to my stuffed animal minion...the new animal..."MUTANT BABY!!" it was part duck...part baby...jenisse is taking care of it for now.

SUNDAY:well of course i started off with some explorers...then it was off to val's house for debut practice...this time we actually went to the ballroom that the debut would take place. we danced our asses off...i had christal as a partner today...christal you rock!...and cathy gives spectacular back massages...im gonna be looking to her more often for those...and we went back to val's house to eat spagetti and watch the crappy part of miss doubtfire.

WTF...cant think of anything today


"7am...
The garbage truck beeps as it backs up
And I start my day thinking about what I’ve thrown away
Could I push rewind?" INCUBUS: 11AM

....damnit...

Current Mood: hot

well...i dont have much to say....so ill leave you with happened about half an hour ago...

i went to work with my dad....and on my way back i decided to put gas in my car....so i go to the AM/PM on fairway to put my gas...when i first look in...everyone was pretty stunned/shocked....so i stood in line and everyone was whispering...i look over at the register...and the cashier is holding the back of her head...it seemed like she wanted to cry...."WTF" i thought to myself...i look a little lower and there was some red blotches on her shirt....i look around some more...and people are whispering things about "guns" and "running out"....and while all of this was going on...the cashier was still scanning things and taking orders...(man, what a trooper) when i was done pumping gas the police came...then when i went to carls jr across the street....i saw the fire department come...(and this cute little girl named laura took my order)...that was an odd expirience. im not positive what happened....because the cashier was still handing out money...so they couldnt have stolen money...and not a lot was missing...so it coulnt have been a huge robbery...i dont know what to think....

i suppose ive been laggin' on the "WTF's" so ill catch up right now...but i think ill make them short.

WTF Corner: WhaT iF there was no censorship...? everyone would be able to say what they want...see what they want and where absolutley nothing and nobody would care...i think it would be better this way....if everyone didnt react in a negative way everytime there was a naked person, a cuss word, or violent scene in a movie...everyone would be scott free and just go on their merry way...NAKED!...so..WhaT iF?

WTF CORNER: wtf is up with me?....i know this is gonna sound corny...but i think im a hopeless romantic...why do i think this? on my way back home today....i caught myself singing along to whatever was on love request line on KOST 103.5....and thinking...*sigh* what if that was me? *sigh*...its kinda sad how i have to be happy for others love rather than my own....my family sucks...i dont think they love me enough...except Mayra...she's stuck by my side for as long as i can remember....but i cant really have her love in full because she has a boyfriend...so i have to have it shared with someone else...so i suppose you can say im on the search for someone i can "love" as in romantic love...because i know my friends love me like i love them....so...WTF?

"Too bad the things that make you mad are my favorite things" INCUBUS: Favorite THINGs

(an extra on just for the hell of it)

"But your taste still lingers on my lips
like I just placed them upon yours
and I starve
I starve for you.
But this new diet's liquid
and dulling to the senses.
And it's crude
but it will do." dashboard confessional: standard lines


......damnit....

Current Mood: indescribable

ive been so busy this whole weekend that i havent been able to update day to day...
so ill give you the weekend in a nutshell..

friday: went to school, went to make music after school....my car broke...went to elvis' for the 30 hour famine...rocked my ass off with ray and louis...got tired and went to sleep.

saturday: woke up with the bright sun in my eyes....played games for a big majority of the day...walked home from elvis'...did some yard work...some chores and fixed my car....went back to elvis'...marc and gurl showed up again....we go to the movies...cancel our plans then just went to eat an hour early....got in trouble by jon....we waited the last hour then went to eat...went to tommy burger...went home...

sunday: went to explorers....went home....got some robeks....went to debut practice...talked to jon....went home...went to pick up food for the family...and started my hw...thats about it...

wtf....non today,,

"You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds " Stonesour: Bother

...DAMNT....

Current Mood: worried

im kinda late on my entry.......but lemmie start with HAPPY B-DAY MAYRA ALFARO!!! i love ya...you're one and only bro....(march 4th..the big ONE-SIX) well.. now that that is out of the way....lets get to the good stuff!
A STATIC LULLABY!!

ok well it was wendsday afternoon and i had to do somestuff before i could actually go....i call up the guys to see if they're ready...(the guys= alex and danny) they were ready hours ahead of time...and danny already got the directions for me...(what a guy) so we're off...but we swing by marc's house to pick up my belt that i left there and a mini keyboard that kicked ass.......it kept me busy while i was on the road....
luckily there wasnt a lot of traffic because we were runnning late as is....and we didnt get lost for the most part...except the stupid streets had a billion directions to go at a stop light.DAMN HOLLYWOOD! slight left/slight right my ass...those streets are confusing...well...we got there and it took us about ten mins to find parking until we finally decided to give into "valet" parking. it was six bux...not bad....but not better than free parking...so we go and they check us before we go in...and we buy our shirts...and those were cool...and we take a seat up top to watch TAKEN...they were pretty cool...the drummer was fantastic...but it was his last show...so too bad for him....and TAKEN sounded just like every other band in the hardcore scene....next up was SCARLET...now SCARLET was a bit different...this is about the time things started to kick because nobody was really doing anything when the other two bands played....i thought nobody would pit just because The Troubador isnt that big....its about as big as our school's MPR. ..well... the pit started to go...and there was this big gay fat man (literally) he was wearing pink and had to have been at least 300 lbs....but he was getting his ninjacore on...and wasnt doing all that bad...it was scary when he kicked though...it was like avoiding a kick from a fat donkey....SCARLET was pretty cool but had to end their set early because the drummer was so kick ass that he kicked his bass drum's ass...he broke his bass drum...and i was thinking to myself...man....he fucked that shit up....i would've like to see more of them...maybe some other time.
Then it was time to get ready for the main attraction....A STATIC LULLABY....it took a while for them to come out but it was ok because we had CHECKY MAGEE!!thats what we called the groupy that checked the band members' equipment before they preformed....( alex and i made a song about checky today...it sounds pretty good) but when the band came out every one went insane...and they played my two favorite songs in the beginning....for some reason i feel that i need to sing along with the band...so when ever i go to shows and there's a certain part of the song that i like a lot...i jump on top of everyone and try to sing into the mic...ive been succesful twice....and i got to go on stage with the band members...and i jumped on top of everyone else...and i was on my way back...to the back....so all these people were carrying me and they wouldnt let me touch the floor...they just kept throwing me around until finally i found a hole in the crowd....i fell through backwards and landed on my elbow...it hurt like a freaking bitch!( whatever that is) so i bruised my elbow...once i was tired of smelling sweaty people i decided to go to the pit where there was a bit more room....my GOD!....i couldnt believe my eyes when i saw the pit....so many people in the pit with out a fucking clue of what they were doing...so i go into the pit like normal doing me signiture "kicks o' fury" and then suddenly some retardo fat guy runs into me thinking he can hardcore dance...i was swing my hands around and i jab my thumb into his fat....HOLY SHIT! the pain...it turned out even worse today....it was all swollen and hurtful and all that good stuff...there was about only three people in the pit that actually knew what they were doing...it was pretty stupid...i saw a guy kick his own feet out from under him....WTF!!!...there was even a girl in the pit...she was doing ok...she was better than some of the guys...and when some people were crowd surfing and jumped off the stage...they missed the crowd completly and took a nose dive to the floor...a saw a girl and a guy do this...and the guys and i just winced in agony...thinking...holy shit that must have hurt!!!...and lastly...a guy in the pit thought it would be cool to do a back flip for the last song....it would've been cool if he had landed it...instead he decided to land on his head...man these kids....always finding new ways to get hurt...the show was pretty much over...it was great...
so we leave The Troubador contnet and sweaty....and headed for home...we go to the gas station...get some drink and we're on our way....the show eneded at 10:30!!!so we decided to go eat at Denny's....when we first walk in i see the claw machine...i always have to play the claw machine when i go to Denny's....with one quarter (because there was already a quarter in the machine) i get the most unlikely plush toy there was to get....it was a dog with an eff'd up eye.....HA HA HA....so the guys and i decided to officially name it "sloth the dog" or "sloth dog" (you know...like Sloth from the GOONIES) it has a meesed up eye because his mom had sex with a broom while pregnant with him...(poor dog) and during dinner/breakfast we were playing those sugar packet games...and i was playing the music for it (this is where the cool mini keyboard came into play) and after we ate....i went back to the claw machine and stuck in two quarters and got a second plush toy...this time i got a bear with easter eggs all over him...but it looks like he was tie died.....so we named him "Hippie Bear"...(no story for him yet...for all we know he's just high all the time)if you ever want to see these "special" animals for yourself...i have them in my car...just ask...

WTF: none today.....im all hopped up on "double shot espresso" i cant really think right now. ill try to have two my next entry.


"Never act my age
You can tell by the lines in my smile
That I have been around for awhile
So, insecurities
Are about as useful as trying
To put the pin back in the grenade"
INCUBUS:Smile Lines

...damnit...

Current Mood: awake

well...today was kinda ok...i started with an explorer meeting as i always do every sunday morn. i got to do a hoselay with REAL FIREMEN...i was shitting bricks....but i did ok for the most part...i just messed up on one part. but it wasnt that big...then i went home and got ready for val's debut practice...then i went to val's debut practice. its really hard to do some of the stuff without a partner...infact its extremley hard to do a lot of stuff without a partner...i had to visit my grandma in burbank who is currently diagnosed with cancer in her pancreas and it spread to her lungs.....ya it does suck.....i dont know what to think...my grandma and i havent spent too many intamet moments together....but i think i would miss her...i dont know how or why...but ill see it when it comes to...and my sister was giving me all this shit because i told her that i already had plans to go to the movies today...and now she thinks i dont care for my grandma...WTF!!!...i never said i wasnt going to go!...i just said i had plans....
i went any ways AND got to go on the outing with my friends....i went out with gurl, marc, and louis (castro). our initial plan was to watch "passions of the christ" but the next showing was at 10:00 and we didnt want to stay up late...so...we just went to gameworks and bought a $33 card for $20...that was cool...with the money we had a air hockey, wrestling, racing, and DDR tounament.....and we milked a cow...i dont know WTF i was thinking.then we raced over to starbux where louis took "the leap of faith" and jumped through a bush that was on an elavated parking lot....it was insane...and we still lost...crap...and we just talked for a while....played some pranks...and had a huge laugh...man...i need to hang out with those kids more often...

well....on to the next subject...the deal with my special friend and i is now over...the akwardness has officially set in....it was good while it lasted...infact...nothing really happened...i dont want to go into detail because i dont want to start any rumers or have you choose who's fault it is...but things happen and....what the hell am i supposed to do about it? beg??....plea??...how about just let it go...i had a feeling from the beginning that it wasnt gonna last...and now...i was right...i wish i was wrong from time to time to catch myself off gaurd. then it wouldnt be so bad.

WTF CORNER: today's topic....me and relationships...i now its not general and doesnt help anyone else....but..perhaps you can help me out with what seems to be an on going question.....WTF!? well...as some of you already know...i dont have a lot of girlfriends (i have tons of girls that are friends). and you'd think with all the girls that i hang with day in and day out id know the ropes.....right? wrong...infact...i seem to be going backwards...i havent had a girlfriend since summer of sophmore year...and that lasted about two weeks. and another thing...i dont keep relationships that long....so whats the deal ladies? you tell me..cuz ive done what ive had too...now im just waiting on you...(i hate to be sounding like such a little bitch..but this is just how i feel now and have thought of for a while...ill stop bitching by tomorrow.) i know that im a nice guy and all....or at least i think i am..and i look half way OK...right?....well...whatever...ill just wait some more. me and relationships remind me of a bar of soap; just when i think i have it in my grasp, it slips out of my hands....and if it was in a prison i just get fucked up the ass....which really sucks and hurts at the same time.... well ...WTF?


Pink tractor beam into your incision
Head spinning as free as dervishs' whirl
I came here expecting next to nothing
So thank you for being that kind of girl.
INCUBUS: Here In My Room(Pink Tractorbeam)

...DAMNIT...

Current Mood: thoughtful